How Doug Ford Can Love Margaret Atwood

I get it Doug, I really do. Earlier today when were saying how useless libraries are and how you didn't know Margaret Atwood and wouldn't recognize her, I understood. You see, she's really an acquired taste. But like in an Atwood novel, even if things look bleak there's a glimmer of hope. You see, you can ease into some of her best work if you change the plot just a bit. Do this and I'm sure you'll be hanging out together on the library bean bag chairs like old pals. 


Just read the summaries I've prepared below. Fortunately, the library system has lots in stock of each book, even in Etobicoke:

Cat's Eye / Eye Formation

A middle aged painter football player looks back on childhood and growing up when attending a retrospective of her work hall of fame ceremony in Toronto, a place purposefully forgotten. Focusing on the complicated and nuanced emotional relationship of young women the totally heteronormative and fun jock culture of high school, Atwood gives the reader a chance to re-consider how understanding female relationships gives rise to a more assured sense of self awesome that season with 13.5 sacks was.

Blind Assassin / Full-Sighted Sniper Dude

This tale of two sisters brothers structures its central mystery of the death of one of the sisters case of the stolen piggy bank around several nested, layered stories a really linear plotline. Showing off her literary legerdemain straight-talk Atwood crafts a story that features political shenanigans, social unrest and sibling rivalry brotherly love, in the totally cool way.

Alias Grace / Grace is for Namby-Pambies

This 19th century period book, written in appropriate Victorian detail high-level business prose for easy-reading, details the trial and life of 16-year-old convicted murderer Grace Marks. Grace has her sentence commuted spends the rest of her life in prison because we need to show her that we're tough on crime. The end.

Handmaid's Tale

In this dystopian novel, far-right wing religious ideals are carried out to their logical extreme. Women are segmented from society only to be used for their reproductive and gender categorized utility, because that's dang efficient.

The Edible Woman

Ok, I'm not touching this one.

Oryx and Crake / Adrienne and Mark

It's a crisis on a scorched earth beset by problems created by genetic technology, social inequality and global warming and really random non-human-made unpredictable events. The two last people on earth are Oryx and Crake Adrienne Batra and Mark Towhey, and together they have a chance to re-shape the world in their image using their unique vision and skills communication and crisis management expertise. 

The Year of The Flood

For years a group predicting environmental catastrophe has protected it from occurring through diligence and persistence. But now that it has happened two marginalized women must go on a quest to right all that has been wronged. A straightforward and easy guide to six sigma management, this book will teach you how to lean out your organization quickly and minimize those one in a million errors.